Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Clean-New-Making Room

Cold.
Dead.
Empty.
Blah.
Barren.
These are the words I always associate with January. It’s my least favorite month of the year. I’m a warm weather gal and the blah of cold/wet January always brings me down. I struggle every year just to survive the month...

Clean.
Fresh.
Uncluttered.
Space for New.
Those are the words that hit me when I was outside this morning...and they’ve sat heavy ever since. I’ve not been able to stop writing since this was put on my heart in the early morning hours. 

My perspective on January can either be death, or I can see it as getting ready for new life. When I looked down the road today, I saw crisp trees and flat lawns. I could see my breath but I could also feel the warmth of what’s to come. There were no leaves to clutter my view, no uncut lawns, no outdoor grills or toys sitting out...just a blank canvas. While I love the look of summer time in action, and I especially love the changing colors on the trees during the fall, there is something about the uncluttered open space of winter. This season is for making space and preparing for new growth. These trees are blank, empty of heavy leaves bringing them down, not baked in the sun drying out...just a blank canvas preparing for new life. People say it all the time, growth comes in hard places. We see it first hand in the trees every year. The hard cold ground, with hard cold roots, a hard cold trunk, and hard cold branches all prepare this tree for the growth that Spring will bring. 
We should do the same. 
This season, both time of year and circumstances, should be for making room for growth. We should take time to prune back the clutter of our hearts and minds. We should visit the hard places in our lives and figure out why they’re so hard. We should sit in it long enough to make peace with it or kick it the heck out, seeking God in whatever that decision may be. Those hard places bring growth or bring us down, and going unaddressed will only take up space. 
When Jesus was on earth, it wasn’t all easy. Do you think being fully God, aware that He had to die, but also fully human, so not wanting to die? In the Garden of Gethsemane, He wrestled this very concept, He addressed the hard. He didn’t want to have to die but He knew He had to. It was hard, unimaginably hard. And then what...He died on a cross (tree) but was raised to life again. Y’all, but God. Shew...🙌🏼 

PS: And you know what, God is in every detail...especially the hard places. The Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus wrestled with the hardest of all, is known as the “olive” garden. We all know that wine comes from olives...but did you know that the delicious wine that comes from those Olives, can only come after a season of harsh winds and hard pressing? I learned this tidbit last year and it has stuck with me. It still amazes me how God is in the most intricate of details. I try to cling to that truth when I’m feeling stuck in the hard places of life or when I feel like maybe God doesn’t care about a small situation in my life. He does. He absolutely does. And we can trust that when we seek Him in those details, He will not leave us abandoned. 

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭9:10‬




Wednesday, January 6, 2021

ELEVEN

Today I completed my ELEVENTH radiation treatment! I am 1/3 of the way there y’all!! 
This is a picture of a card I scan to open the door to the radiation rooms. It’s basically an ID that says “you are battling cancer and everything kinda stinks so scan this card to unlock the door and treat yo self”. It isn’t a big deal at all, y’all know I’m dramatic, but I really don’t like having my name tied to something so terrible...and now I have an ID for it. Blah, I hate it. 😖

While I am so ready to finish the journey, I am also mindful of the lessons and depth of grace I am receiving from Jesus while I’m on it.
Sometimes it feels like the pit they threw Joseph in...trapped in a world I don’t recognize with no way out and an ID for a disease no one wants.
But it’s on those days that I reflect back to Mary Magdalene...sobbing at the empty tomb looking for Jesus, asking where He had been taken but not realizing she was talking to Jesus. Then He turned to her and said “Mary”...and she fell to His feet in worship. If I ever feel like I’m in the pit, crying out, looking up for Jesus amid all the things that cancer brings, I wrestle until I hear “Lauren”. 
And y’all, I always hear Lauren. 
Grace.
He is so good. 

#Heknowsmyname #myIDiswithChrist