Two Years, One stairwell

The stairwell leading to the 3rd floor is a stairwell I, we, are all to familiar with. For 8 weeks we walked those stairs to the NICU. Most days I walked those stairs with a heavy heart. Every morning, every night, and most lunch breaks I walked those steps...the same daunting steps with the same "too clean" hospital smell. Tonight we payed a visit to the NICU nurses that so lovingly took care of our girl. I am not going to lie, I was a little nervous about how I would handle walking back in those doors. We had an awesome visit with some amazing women! I loved getting to see their faces when they saw not so little "Frass". The NICU is temporarily on the 5th floor but we were going back down to see my nephew. DID YOU HEAR THAT? Baby Will is HERE and perfect! So we ended up on the 3rd floor before we headed home.

When we left we took the stairs and let me just tell you, I received such a blessing in that daunting stairwell.

Two years ago I couldn't imagine taking her home, much less her growing up and blossoming into the well adjusted little girl that she has. 

Tonight I watched her walk down the "big steps" with her daddy. It did this mamas heart so good to see her take the "big steps" and have such joy in her heart. It really changed my perspective on that daunting stairwell. As much as I hated walking those steps, they were walked probably close to 300 times between the two of us, they were the steps we had to walk. They weren't fun but those steps were only a path for us to walk for a short period. Those steps were access to our girl whenever we wanted to see her. Those steps caught a heck of a lot of tears, lots and lots of tears..but those steps also heard joyous phone calls to family and friends when Sadie had a great day. Sometimes "big steps" are the hardest steps to take. They are uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and quite frankly...scary as hell. I have learned the importance of steps, big and baby, and am slowly learning that steps are only a temporary path to something new and beautiful. My prayer is that I start taking the time to see the beauty in the "big step". My prayer is that I rest my "big step" doubts in God and not in fear. He is the only one who can walk those temporary "big steps" with us and provide us the true comfort and peace we need. 

Praise God for those steps and for blessing me to be a mama to this little spit fire!