Step ONE — February 20...lets go

Tomorrow morning the process begins...

Step1: Surgery 

In all honesty, I’ve been pretty depressed since I was given this diagnosis. I have allowed the Devil to control my thought life and it hasn’t been pretty. I’ve been so overwhelmed at times that I have felt paralyzed and that’s given my mind time to run wild with all the things....fear,doubt,anger,confusion. You name it, I feel like I’ve felt it. 

It’s not a fear or doubt that God isn’t in control, I know He is. Its not a fear that God can’t heal me, I know He can. Its that lingering thought of “God can heal me but what if that doesn’t glorify Him”. I’ve seen this play out both ways. I’ve seen God heal David and Sadie but at the same time I have seen Berkley and Henry not healed on this earth. I have seen God glorified through both the joys and the pains of this world. And it’s hard, It’s really hard. It has consumed my thoughts over the last week. I have been stuck in this hard place of wanting God to be glorified while being fully aware that Him being glorified might not feel good. I’ve been so consumed that my prayer life has suffered and my bible studies have been non-existent. I know this seems counterintuitive but it’s the hard place I am stuck in right now. 

Although I am falling short and although I am struggling to find energy to fight, God is NOT absent. It is in OUR weakness that HIS glory is revealed! Praise God and Amen. 🙌🏼

I know I am loved and I feel every precious prayer being prayed on my behalf. (Thank you!)

I know He is fighting this for me. 

And I know He is good at being GOD! 

#repeatwithmetohelpme 

I know God has this. 

I know God is fighting for me. 

I know God is with me. 

I know the truth of God. 

I know the power of the prayer.

I know that God is trustworthy.

I know that God will be glorified.