Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with a few words that it quite literally knocked the breath out of you?
That is how it felt. I was alone in a hospital and the words I’d just been told, which for some bring incredible joy, brought me sheer terror.
It was the day of my port procedure, March 26. The virus had just started to shut things down so I was forced to be alone for this procedure. Chemo was to start the very next day and I had psyched myself up to start the battle to defeat breast cancer. The anesthesiologist came in to give me the run down so I knew it was getting close to time. I text David to let him know it was getting close to surgery time and then walked back in the anesthesiologist.
“Hi, ummm ma’am....did you know you are pregnant?”
....................
Silence filled the room with the two of us. He had to ask me again because I literally could not catch my breath. I asked him to run the test again to confirm. My mind was spinning, my heart was bubbling up with past emotions and future fears...
A few moments later my nurse pracs from the Breast Center and my surgeon came in and I was indeed pregnant.
Halt.all.breathing.
I made the call to David that he could come pick me up from the hospital. I really don’t think we spoke for a few hours as we both processed this news. We had no idea what would happen next...
The Port procedure was obviously put on hold and by the end of the day I had an ultrasound and 2 follow up appointments scheduled for the next few days. Being extremely high risk for losing another child and also needing chemotherapy we had some very grueling doctor visits and conversations that I never want to revisit, but thankfully I am in good hands from both a cancer and baby perspective.
I am now in my second trimester, I got my port this past Thursday, and will begin chemo Monday. There are a bazillion unknowns that somedays take over my mind to the point of crippling me, while there are somedays I am overwhelmed with Gods mercy and grace.
We appreciate the continued prayers as we have some big obstacles ahead, but we serve a BIGGER God, so here.we.go.
#GodisgoodatbeingGod #unplannedGodplanned
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