8 1/2 months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
8 1/2 months ago my world stopped.
I truly couldn’t understand how God could allow another trial in front of us after already going through what seemed like the worst battles...but here we were.
The world stopped spinning inside our home while we anxiously awaited test results, plans, further diagnosis, and breast surgery. 16 weeks later I began the chemo journey after finding out that I was pregnant with our 4th baby. In those 16 weeks of waiting there were multiple doctor appointments, 3 surgeries, selling our house, moving, School ending abruptly for Sadie, letting go of my job, and new normals I didn’t want to adjust to. When I finished my first chemo treatment, I was so relieved. I was relieved to know how each treatment would go and to figure out how my health and energy levels would be between each treatment. Treatments were hard, but not unbearable. There were typical side effects but nothing that God didn’t handle for me. But after treatment #4, I developed anemia and received a blood transfusion. A few days later I threw a blood clot that literally ran the length of my right leg. I couldn’t walk for 2 weeks. I was so discouraged. It was only a few weeks after that, I had to have surgery to remove a kidney stone and have a stent placed. It was an eventful 6-8 weeks. Looking back at pictures I looked sick. Really sick. I didn’t just feel it, I quite literally looked it. I was completely zapped of energy and mentally/emotionally done....but God. My sweet husband came home from work shortly after this and had decided it would be best for him to be home until our sweet boy was born. I wasn’t sure it was necessary but God has proven this to be exactly what we needed. We’ve spent the last weeks at home together helping Sadie virtually learn, getting me back on my feet physically and emotionally, going to chemo every Monday, pregnancy specialist visits and regular OB visits, while counting down the days until...today.
Today I rang the bell. I rang the dang bell, y’all. It has been a long round of 16 treatments. There have been times I wanted to give up, times I prayed it would be over, times I questioned God...but today I am done. I have completed the 2nd step to rid me of breast cancer and I couldn’t be more grateful for the journey.
I’ve seen the work of God and felt His presence more in the last 8 1/2 months than I have in my lifetime. There has not been a need unmet. There has not been a moment where I felt abandoned. God has carried us through this valley with an extra baby in tow. Even in the moments I questioned His plan, I was given a scripture or a sweet text from a friend to show me that He is good even when circumstances are not good. Watching God work a miracle, I’ve seen that...being the miracle is another thing. So although it’s been a hard process, a really hard and dark process some days, I am thankful to be used. If spreading Gods amazing love and miraculous work, requires discomfort, I’m all in. And thankfully Gods goodness doesn’t depend on our faithfulness or our “comfort”.
I am thankful that Gods plan is greater than ours. I’m thankful for all of our family, friends, social media friends, and everyone in between who have interceded on my behalf to pray our family through this and physically meet our needs. I am thankful for an amazing medical team who have done all they can to keep me in treatment, keep me healthy, and keep me pregnant. God is so good, y’all!
Now on to the next big adventure...Isaac. T-minus 18 days!
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