Thursday, November 5, 2015

Pride..just a word


 
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Pride. I hate this word. I hate it because it is the very essence of every dysfunctional relationship I have ever had. Whether, family, love or friends, it has been at the center of all miscommunication and ultimately led to failure. We have all at one point or another felt like we had all the answers and everyone else was just wrong. We have all put ourselves up on a pedestal and let un-forgiveness build until the relationship dies. The relationship eventually implodes because no one is willing to let go of their pride and listen. The same goes with our relationship with God. At what point do we finally grasp that He is all we need? At what point do we lay down all the heaviness at His feet and allow Him to speak to us? Why do we fight it? I have struggled lately with the idea of turning 30. I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish by 30 and I just assumed God was on board with that plan. It made sense to me so why wouldn't He be on board? I am now 4 months away and quite a few things on my list aren't marked off. Quite a few things are half-way marked through with little asterisks at the end meaning "in progress". I was reading tonight when I came across a 5 letter word...pride. Pride is the very thing keeping me from hearing His plan and accepting it. I have let the disappointment I feel over my failed list take the place of His love for me regardless of my failed list. My failed list, it isn't His list. It's my idea of "having it together" by 30. It's a ridiculously, rotten, unrealistic  list based on what I know of people I admire....and we all know that comparison is a useless waste of energy. His love for us is so great that each one of us have an individual plan He has set for us. We don't have to figure anything out ourselves or accomplish 30 under 30, we just have to rest at his feet and let Him reveal His plan in His time.
 

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