1.1.15
Pride. I hate this word. I hate it because it is the very essence of
every dysfunctional relationship I have ever had. Whether, family, love or
friends, it has been at the center of all miscommunication and ultimately led
to failure. We have all at one point or another felt like we had all the
answers and everyone else was just wrong. We have all put ourselves up on a
pedestal and let un-forgiveness build until the relationship dies. The
relationship eventually implodes because no one is willing to let go of their
pride and listen. The same goes with our relationship with God. At what point
do we finally grasp that He is all we need? At what point do we lay down all
the heaviness at His feet and allow Him to speak to us? Why do we fight it? I
have struggled lately with the idea of turning 30. I had a list of things that
I wanted to accomplish by 30 and I just assumed God was on board with that
plan. It made sense to me so why wouldn't He be on board? I am now 4 months
away and quite a few things on my list aren't marked off. Quite a few things
are half-way marked through with little asterisks at the end meaning "in
progress". I was reading tonight when I came across a 5 letter
word...pride. Pride is the very thing keeping me from hearing His plan and accepting
it. I have let the disappointment I feel over my failed list take the place of
His love for me regardless of my failed list. My failed list, it isn't His
list. It's my idea of "having it together" by 30. It's a
ridiculously, rotten, unrealistic list based on what I know of people I
admire....and we all know that comparison is a useless waste of energy. His
love for us is so great that each one of us have an individual plan He has set
for us. We don't have to figure anything out ourselves or accomplish 30 under
30, we just have to rest at his feet and let Him reveal His plan in His time.
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